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Let's  K12  Better

Giving Gifts... B'Day Etiquette and "No Gifts" Movement

9/2/2014

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Recently with the line of birthdays and back-to-school shopping in addition to the regular dosage of love my kids receive from family and close friends the three pack has received a lot of material possessions.  So much so that have acquired an attitude of entitlement.  It's gotten to a point where I am continually reminding them that we (adults) are not here to serve their needs.  I keep reminding them of their blessings and opportunities and that they also have enough "stuff".
I think I'm not alone as a parent. Things are so cheap that a quick trip to Target can turn into a shopping spree where kids can leave with a few $3 items in hand if their parents are paying attention.  My kids will be serving soup, making sandwiches, picking up trash, cleaning out invasive species, reading books and doing all the other fun volunteer and community service opportunities that exist.  But right now they aren't at the age where they can go on these trips and really help.  So how can I teach them about having a "giving spirit" without repeating the same regular and redundant script?
Fortunately for us, a friend is having a birthday.  Like many other moms, my friend took a strong stance against gifts.  She felt that her kid had enough clothes, books, toys, learning thingies and STUFF.  I didn't want to go against my friends wishes but I did want my kids to have the opportunity to show someone else, someone they care about, that they took the time to thoughtfully find something to give them for their birthday.  So I thought about it.  After some creative mental finagling, I decided to ask my friend about her child's favorite foods or special treats that aren't regularly consumed either because of principle, cost or sugary wonderfulness.  This worked!  Now my kids will have the opportunity to pick out something for someone else, purchase that item, make it all pretty and present it to the person.  They will also get to see how they can bring joy to another person and experience how making another person smile feels.  A gift in itself.

In an age where parents are beginning to say "no gifts" (which I am totally ok with following) there are other creative ways to bring a present without either showing up as the sole empty handed guest or breaking a parent's wishes.  Here are a few:
  1. Pay for a trip to their favorite place (you can do it through Living Social or some similar platform)
  2. Gift Cards
  3. Artwork
  4. Write a Song or Choreograph a Dance
  5. Bring the Cake and Ice Cream
  6. Bring other food or balloons
  7. Make the party bags
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    I'm a former teacher and former college athlete, currently working to make life more equitable for all people. My mission is to get parents to partner with their child's teacher.

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