 Sometimes all you need is a glimpse into the future to let you know that things are going to be alright. It was a solid five months of career and professional uncertainty for me. I’d been thinking heavily about the hamster wheel I’d been running on for what seemed to be the last two years. Where was I going? What am I even doing? Should I pursue something else? I’m in my mid thirties and all of the dreams and aspirations I’d worked for in my twenties had not come to fruition yet. These thoughts subsided when I blamed my lack of “success” on having kids, being married, or not reaching out to the right people at the right time, but deep down inside I knew this was not completely true. Knowing there are no shortcuts to success, it still felt like my mantra of “hard work clears the path” was getting me nowhere. I have always been enthusiastic about being an older woman because it looked like so much fun. I grew up on shows like The Golden Girls, 227, and Murder She Wrote (reruns). The main characters in these shows were women above 50 living their best lives. Watching my grandmothers have successful careers, amazingly vibrant family lives, while remaining active and fit, was reassurance to me that growing in grace and good health was a potential birthright. The problem was that I believed that this time in my life was really far off in the distance. But on my 36th birthday, I was overcome by the misnomer that if I were to live to at least 70, my life was now half over.
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 Digital Citizenship Week is an opportunity for parents, educators, and students to educate themselves on issues concerning youth online activity. Online activity includes: cyberbullying, cyber predators, media literacy, social media use, games and apps marketed to kids, digital footprints, plagiarism, and more.  I’m a shameless advocate of parent-teacher partnerships. It’s not because I was a teacher or was raised by teacher, but because I understand the power of parent-teacher cooperation. It takes a village and your child’s teacher should definitely be one adult advocate in your child’s tribe. Trusting an “outsider” with your child’s growth and development can be a challenge for some to overcome, but the trade off for doing so is immeasurable when it works. Communication is a vitally important component to parent-teacher relationships. I want my children’s teachers to understand that I’m not here to judge them or tell them what to do; my goal is to partner with them to make sure we get the most out of our 180 plus school days together. In advocating for my child I ask myself: What can I do to keep the learning going at home? What are my child’s weakest areas? How can I motivate my child to ensure that she is a good citizen in the classroom? After reflecting on what I know about my child, I ask my child’s teacher these same questions. Here are three reasons why I value partnership with each of my children’s teachers:  I woke up to the sounds of YouTube videos in the background. I really wanted it to stop, but it didn’t. As I rolled over and came to, I heard the low baritone of my husband’s voice pointing out a variety of musical nuances that only a well trained ear or a complete music wonk would understand. As he flipped from video to video, explaining which artist influenced whom and when this band jammed together with these people on a bus, I came to this sudden realization… He was teaching his daughters a very important lesson about happiness and lifelong learning.  Communication today is instantaneous. We write emails, send chat requests on social media, and send GIFs and emojis via text messages. We know how people feel, where they are, and what they’re up to at any moment in time just by looking at a timeline or feed of information. Party invitations, wedding announcements, and other celebratory life events are now also shared via mobile and online communications. With communication becoming bite-sized and immediate, I wonder if we are losing the art of thoughtfully exchanging of ideas with others. Are we becoming less human when we engage less personally? Are we losing out as we become more efficient? When was the last time you sat down, penned a letter, and put it in the mail? For many of us, the idea of visiting the post office or using an envelope and stamp is an awkward experience. Why write a letter if you can Skype or FaceTime or direct message? The idea of writing a physical letter might be an archaic concept, but it’s a skill worth cultivating in our children. Letter writing is a great way to improve writing and communication skills. It allows the sender to organize their thoughts into a story, think about their recipient and what they’d like to learn from the other person, practice their writing style and voice, as well as, practice handwriting coordination. Despite the many benefits of digitization, the experience of letter writing can be a great way to substitute a creative writing exercise that also helps social emotional development. 
It’s my favorite time of year. The nights are about to get cooler, the bugs are singing their swan songs to nature, the fall sports teams have begun preseason training, and the malls are filled with parents looking for the right supplies and clothes to help their child have a successful and confident school year. This is a time of new beginnings, new promises, new opportunities, a fresh start for teachers, kids, and parents alike. Hopefully your family is using this fresh start to think about your individual and group goals and the strategies you’ll use to achieve them.
 It had gotten to a point where I would find myself standing in the kitchen staring at nothing; or I would get angry for no reason; and then sometimes, a random thought would cross my mind reminding me of all of my perceived failures over the past four and a half years. I needed some help but my own personal pride prevented me from seeking such attention. Moms can be these exotic robots that handle all schedules, delays, updates and changes in a smooth and orderly fashion. At this particular season in my life, I was managing the kids’ needs, being a single mom, work responsibilities, and the demands of school and other external commitments; I’d lost my very tight and very regimented method of survival to a more chaotic out of control (but thinking I’m in control) method of getting things done. I prided myself in my ability to schedule everything in without anyone missing out on the things that they wanted to do. But things began to fall by the wayside. It felt like every bit of me was being pulled apart at the seams and I was barreling quickly toward a very detrimental end.  I reached into the dishwasher and pulled out a dirty cup, then sighed and said the name of the child who last washed dishes... but I wasn’t upset. I wasn’t disappointed. I wasn’t even mad. I dug a little further and I realized, I was picking up a broken glass. It was one of my favorites, a vintage emerald green tumbler I’d found in a set at a thrift store. I let out a heavy sigh in frustration, proceeded to separate the clean dishes from the dirtier ones and began to fill the sink with hot soapy, bleachy water. I was relieved that I hadn’t cut a finger and I was thankful that one of the kids hadn’t cut their hand either. Besides the annoyance of rewashing two-thirds of the dishes, I realized that this was a great teachable moment, for them and for me.  We’ve all heard this before, “the squeaky wheel gets the oil”; the loudest most pressing issues are often resolved first. But when we look at our most pressing national issues, it seems as if we’ve either run out of oil or we actually have way more wheels than we thought we did. With limited time and resources, can we expect our government to efficiently address every local and national problem with the care and proficiency that is required? What role do citizens play in solving local and national civic problems? What can we learn from celebrities and private companies that have stepped in to addressed niche community problems and interests?
 “Don’t make me drag you to success... get up and walk there yourself” I yelled this to a child who was refusing to work on a language exercise because she wanted to play video games instead.
I stopped after I completed the sentence and thought about it. This is probably how god and the universe feels about me sometimes. Why am I dragging you to your destiny? I think about how I remain satiated by stagnation. It’s because I believe in my potential. Many of us thrive off of the sound of “our potential”. We eat potential up. We meditate on it and orgasm to it. But loving potential is like loving the idea of relationships but not wanting one because you know it’s hard work. |
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