We're no Mozarts but music is a very important part of our family life. I grew up singing in the Sunshine Band in church. My mother always sang to us. She encouraged our creativity and melodic harmonizing. I was in my high school choir and the marching and orchestra band. I went to a college where the conservatory was one of the best. I danced and put on a musical jamboree in college. One sister married a church pianist who is self taught. My brother and younger sister play and played in their respective HBCU marching bands. My ExHusband has played every kind of genre of music from Go-Go to Hard Core. He makes beats and fixes music equipment for musicians as a hobby/side hustle. When my kids fight we "sing it out". Essentially we love music. My family takes for granted, that if any of us has a kid, they'll be rhythmic and melodic.
Enter my youngest. She is almost three, cunning and confident. I never really paid attention before but I noticed that when she sings, sometimes it's a bit... Hmm as I'm writing I can't even describe it. But I attributed it to her being a baby and just loving to yell. Since she is the youngest I figured she was creating a signature method to be heard and distinguish her place within the three piece. But I am very wrong.
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I learned something today while watching my 4 year old play that could have saved my marriage. Seriously.
We often have great play dates, actually we have epic marathon play dates, but today we decided to keep it to two hours at the park. As usual, my middle child loves to go off on her own and experience and play by herself with the "others around". She is still engaged because she often adds her vocal opinion; over time I've appreciated the fact that she is engaging in multiple ways. My hands-off style of playground supervision is shared with my other mom friends. This evening, two of us observed and laughed, chatted and shared as our kids learned to climb the climbing wall, go down slides on their own and even push each other in the swings. Nothing unusual. A bit into the playground fun, my middle child peaks the interest of a boy who begins to chase her and follow her on the playground. I honestly do not think anything of it except that it was odd that she was actually reciprocating the attention. The two play together heading over to the swings while our core group continued their imaginative playground fun. This is the moment when I begin to learn... I would like to say that I did not hear ANY of the conversation between my daughter and this little boy. I was only able to observe body language. I did not interfere until the end and I learned so much through this very short interaction.
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I'm a former teacher and former college athlete, currently working to make life more equitable for all people. My mission is to get parents to partner with their child's teacher.
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