Dear random 60-80 year old black men,
Let me start this letter with this… I know that 50 years ago the relevance of your opinion in my life was tantamount, but it’s 2015 and I don’t care what you think. Yes you may be guided by the "Lord" or whatever god has ordained you as the voice of all blackness, but your opinions and secret conservatism and sexism is slowly dying off in our community. Women are free now and black women no longer need to sacrifice themselves and their dreams to keep you at the helm of the forward mobility of “our race”.
So with all that said, I just want to let all of you who bother me in the parking lot, on my way to the bank, at family gatherings and while I’m leaving my job… I don't fucking need a boy to add to my parenting collection of beings. Stop perving me out... mind your damn business and go attend to your own personal life.
I'm going to start off just like that as it seems as though when I'm out with my three daughters I literally experience random older black men telling me how much I need a son to fill my life, complete me and make me “a real mother”.
Let me tell you guys something... so many black men have destroyed multiple regions of my life that I don't think I need to make one more to make the cycle of your destruction (in my life) complete...
This is not an anti black boy rant… it’s an anti older black man expressing his historically oppressive, dominance and privilege, by telling me about my reproductive obligations to myself and “my race”.
My daughters are loving, smart, athletic, caring, respectful, helpful, giving, compassionate, artistic, and just beautiful spirits; if I never have another child I will still feel complete. I will still feel like a good mother. Being surrounded by their warmth their love their enjoyment for life, has shown me all the things in my life that I should appreciate. I see life more softer now. I see life more colorful and graceful. I see life musically. And it’s not that a son wouldn’t do that for me, but it’s quite an insult to believe that the contribution that my girls give to my life, and this life, is just not enough. They make me a mother by the fact they came out of me.
So… Let's move forward. You can stop catcalling me with your comments of:
What the hell kind of breeder slavery plantation farm shit is that? It’s disturbing, it’s insulting, it’s controlling and just outdated thinking.
I'm not saying every 60 to 80 year-old black man feels this way but from my experience a lot of black men in that age group have stopped me to make comments such as these because they feel entitled to my body. They feel a level of comfort in expressing their old-timey way of thinking. They feel like their voice holds weight in the opinions of younger women. They feel, like kings. That my job is to make more of them, so that those of me and my daughters can continue the self sacrificing cycle of waiting on them and their oppressive cycle of extreme heterosexual, alpha male misogyny.
Wake up guys, wake up. You have no right to express your discomfort with the confidence that I have in my ability to raise powerful awesome and probably dominant women. You have no right to express your discomfort in seeing happy little black girls. You have no right to express your discomfort with my face when you open your mouth with that bass-ackward crap.
To the others of you that are more progressive, thank you. Keep keeping on… Encourage your peers to mind their own damn business... It's just disrespectful and insulting.
And finally, some of you have daughters, granddaughters and great grand-daughters; you wouldn't want them being addressed like this and yet maybe some of you would, because deep down you believe in an old archaic place for women and I find that to be most detrimental to “our race”.
I'm a former teacher and former college athlete, currently working in edtech. My mission is to get parents to partner with their child's teacher.