As society and individuals progress, we look for methods that will improve our lives by eliminating old traditions and practices. We go to great lengths to fight to shift norms that hold us back and prevent us from experiencing life as free beings. The institution that is “marriage”, is ripe for disruption and many people believe that “open marriage” is the saving grace that will come in and eliminate many of the divorces happening these days. To me this is another complicated bandaid on a few deeper problems…
Big sister has gotten to the point where she really is her own person now... Like she kinda was before but now she is at the phase where she is defining concepts like love, Justice, peace...for herself. She’s begun formulating opinions about things she hears about at school or on the news when she's by her grandmother. She has her own ideas about her boundaries and what she accepts... It's not just what I say anymore that is the only way... And I like it.
My kids play youth soccer. The other game my daughter comes off the field exhausted. We get in the van and begin our recap of the experience as usual.
“So how was it?”
“Well I tried some of the stuff at practice. I think I did ok. I didn't score a lot though.”
“That's ok. As long as you attempt to implement what you learn that's good. How do you feel?”
And then silence...No explanation. No expanded wordage as usual. Just silence...
I hustled off the train from work. I was tired and flustered and ready to move to the next activity of the evening, a play date with friends we hadn't seen in some time. The work day was rough and I'd gone to the doctor that morning so my mind was not centered. I swung open the door to my kids' father's place and rushed in. He had a guest there so I made certain I was polite as I whisked by to get the kids together for the play date.
Everything was a blur... I didn't even hear his guest leave. As I turn to yell another order to the kids I'm handed a small sleek black electronic device... Yes. My iPod color... 60GB! Omfg! I couldn't believe he still had it. Everything stopped. I clicked the lock switch back and played with the dial... It turned on! And he charged it! Holy shit. 1,650 something songs back in my life again. Memories flooded my brain. I flipped it over and I touched the back, "Amber's iPod Given in love"... I remember opening the package. If you recall, Steve Jobs released this service as a way to personalize the hefty gift you were giving to that "special someone". I frigggin' loved Apple Inc. back then!
I stood there frozen. I realized how much I used to love this dude and how much he used to love me... How much he probably still does. Because he could've thrown it in the trash or pawned it long ago. But instead, after a very stressful day, he handed me this memory box, this nostalgic forgotten puzzle piece of our former life... and a side of Chick Fil A. #DayMade.
There's a small movement toward making families the epicenter of our society again. I can feel the undercurrent of "this is no longer acceptable" as a resounding cry of those leading the charge to take back our future and make it right. Parents have begun to say “here I am” employers, media, government… “here I am, this is me”.
After Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals, Riley Curry, daughter of Ayesha Curry and Golden State Warriors Point Guard, Stephen Curry- took the podium with her dad. As Steph attempted to answer the questions from the press his 2 year old acted like... well, a two year old. Her cute antics, squeals and I'm so over it attitude toward the reporters was classic. It was a late night and she was ready to go home with her family.
As usual, everyone had their opinion about how the whole experience went down which once again, uncovered the unhealthy and extreme polarity that exists in American culture. That aside, what we all fail to see is that even though the NBA is paying Stephen through the patronage of the fans and advertisers, and the press has their rights to a great story after the game, Riley doesn't care about all that.. Because Stephen is her dad. She doesn't see his stats, his status his fame... She sees her father. Someone who from what I gather from the press conference, really loves her.
Why Does it Matter?
It’s been about 3 years since I’ve heard that question. I used to walk around Whole Foods, two tiny children in tow- one with blue eyes (now yellow) and one with cocoa brown and people would stop and say to me “ They’re so beautiful. Are the mixed?”. I never thought anything of it at first, but then I began getting offended as if their beauty was the result of some exotified idea that I layed down with a white man to make my awesomeness. (P.S. I’m sooooo team swirl) The idea that “regular”, “normal” brown skin people like myself must depend on someone outside our race to enhance our beauty and physical currency, was disturbing.
I've had 3 in diapers. Let's just say, I know how to help make it all easier...