Sometimes in life you just have to think... if I won an Academy Award or an Oscar what would my acceptance speech be. Who would I thank? What would I say? When you think about this, it's a really great opportunity to embed yourself in a moment of thanksgiving. Who are the people in your life who've helped you get to this very moment right now? What sacrifices did they make for you so that you could be all that you can be? What did they do to empower you, mentor you, support you, help you; so that you can have this exact moment of your shining glory of getting in a car that has gasoline, kissing your kids goodbye before school or even putting make-up on at your vanity… These are moments of shining glory and although we dismiss them as mundane, forgettable tasks, someone helped you make it here. Don’t forget that or take that lightly. I encourage everyone to write an acceptance speech and just think about all of the things that have happened to you in the past that have provided you the opportunity of “right now”. Well here's my speech…
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What do you do when topics come up on television, in the magazines in the checkout line, on the “suggested for you” on your livestream or in adult conversation that you don’t want your children exposed to yet? How do you maneuver through this society of circus culture in our media? Let me clarify, I don’t label it “circus culture” because of what is being shared; but because of the over-the-top, in your face, unbelievable delivery of all serious information. Rather than be a vehicle to educate the media is a vehicle to entertain… Recently Bruce Jenner came out to the entire world that he was a woman. Before I passed judgment on him and his choice I decided to binge watch “TransParent” on my ex-husband’s Amazon livestream service. I watched the whole first season and was actually impressed with how the show handled each relationship and each character. I was impressed how tastefully the show put together its plots and twists and turns. But that’s a show… a show that my kids can watch when they get to be about 10 or so. I can censor it and allow them to experience it with me- together on the sofa as we have a roundtable discussion about it scientifically. I had the wonderful opportunity through my job to attend the White House Games for Learning Summit in NYC on the NYU campus this week. It was a gathering of devs, policy people, teachers, gaming companies, funders, educators and thought leaders in an effort to bridge the very massive gap between educational technology and the gaming world. There’s a huge gap and this administration has been very aggressive about finding ways to bring America’s students up to par with our global competitors. Panels and discussions were held as opportunities to discuss, even scrutinize, the efficiencies of why certain games like Assassins Creed and Rocksmith work to inspire learning in their gamers. Why are good games effective? What should edtech devs remember when creating games? Who are the real stakeholders? In addition, many speakers reached beyond advocating for games, to advocate on behalf of the necessity of strategic partnerships in creating quality and useful edtech for American classrooms. Today we went to soccer practice for Big Sister. Afterward we decided to go out for dinner, primarily because I didn't feel like cooking. So after the votes were tallied- we decided that ramen was going to be our meal of choice this evening. It's perfect because it's comfort food- warm, filling, soothing, healthy... what more could you ask for. I've made it myself but I'd rather buy it from a real ramen shop when I'm tired. We go and fortunately for us we arrived after the post dinner rush (7:30ish). It was awesome because this place has few seats and it's a very popular place. It's also cash only which is cool... We go to this place once a month as a family, with their father and with our cousin Nikkicole. This time was different... this time we didn't get ramen and we left embarrassed. Life can punch you in the face. She punches all of us in the face at some point. Whether it's a career change, a social challenge, athletics or musical learning or financial issues we have moments which force us to rise or crumble. This is when we need grit most. Grit is courage and resolve; strength of character. It's been studied that the amount of grit we have will determine our outcomes post challenge. Our ability to deal with messed up situations actually makes us stronger.
Here are a few tips that help me deal when I'm getting punched in the face... I used to want sons. Each pregnancy I would hope and pray that a “Y chromosomed” individual was growing in my belly. I thought that raising boys was easier. I mean I'm a woman and I know how hard it is to deal with all those yuck emotions. I know how it was to deal with my sisters and my mom and I felt like my brother was cool. He was annoying like all little brothers are but still... He was cool. I always wanted to be a guy. Not in the transgender sense where I was downloaded into the wrong physical body; but in a jealous I wish I could love 'em and leave 'em, emotionless, selfish, stand up and pee kinda way. I wanted that life. Since I couldn't have it for myself I had hoped I could live vicariously through my offspring... Alas I got daughters... 3 and each time I felt sorry for them and I felt sorry for myself. All the pubescent crying and bleeding that I'll have to deal with. All that heartbreak and emotional drama that's bound to happen with groups of friends. The bullying, the body shaming and slut culture and sexual pressure to maneuver... Exhaustive. But each day as I raise my girls I begin to see the benefits of having two X chromosomes. I’ve started appreciating it more. At various points I’m still unconvinced by the “pluses”. I daydream about the patch of grass on the other side of the fence where boys play sports, wield swords and guns, love dinosaurs and bugs and beat each other up for crying. Having a penis must be so amazing. Gazing at my "neighboring parents" hard at work raising men, I fantasized about a parental obligation I'd never know. Until this Easter... several revelations let me to believe that my situation was amazing. I was thinking about my progress throughout this thing called “life” and realized that there are a lot of skills I’ve acquired that are either second nature or taken for granted. How did I even acquire these skills? So I then thought about what skills I thought would be absolutely essential for a fully frontal lobe developed “adult” human. If I were to pick 25 skills that were essential for survival, what would they be. I created this list as a stream of consciousness…. in other words it’s a working list. I also have general assumptions about knowledge acquired by each of us, up to the age of 25. I understand that some of the “skills” I have listed are also experiences, but I think experiences become or feed into skills, so they made the list. If there is a skill I missed, please feel free to add it in the comments! I’d love to know of any essentials that were glossed over, taken for granted or forgotten. Here’s my list:
I just might take my daughters to a family counselor when they turn 12. Maybe before. During the post childhood and preteen years, the body is chemically falling off balance as it begins to enter the pinnacle of puberty. Many destructive behaviors emerge and normal, happy, “good” children can become monsters or complete strangers. If you add the extra effects of stress- familial, financial, academic, social, etc- and the cortisol it can bring with it, you have the recipe for the perfect storm.
I was binge watching “Louie” on Netflix. Toward the last couple episodes he catches his daughter smoking weed at 12. The episode becomes a retrospective series of episodes where he recalls his own final months of middle school. The most compelling part for me was how he reacted toward his daughter. He wasn’t hypocritical. He saw his daughter’s actions as an extension of his own. His acting out manifested itself in theft, drug use and cursing out his father. He recalled how a community counselor informed him that it was his parents' divorce that actually contributed to his radical self medicating and destructive behavior. Though the divorce happened years before, it hadn't really gotten to him until he was on the cusp of high school. |
I'm a former teacher and former college athlete, currently working to make life more equitable for all people. My mission is to get parents to partner with their child's teacher.
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